By Billy Felo
What It This Feeling?
Starting when I was about ten-years old, I remember getting a feeling that was unlike any other. It was euphoric and pleasant. It felt like positive energy pulsing through my body.
It would happen randomly and last only a few seconds.
My most intense surge happened when I was standing alone in the bathroom. I felt a wave of energy come through me. I felt safe and connected.
This surge was stronger than before, and I remember standing there trying to hang on to the feeling as it drifted away.
I asked my mom if she knew what this feeling was. Does it happen to other people? How could I get it to happen more?
Being a kid, I explained it poorly to my mom. I can only imagine what she was thinking about the “pleasureful feeling” that her prepubescent son was getting in the bathroom.
She had no idea what I was talking about, and I didn’t think much about it after that.
Adult Surges
Just recently (I’m now 36), this feeling has been coming back and with increasing intensity. Now that I know more about the chemicals our brains make, the surges are easy to define from a scientific standpoint.
According to Dawn Yanek from Peloton, endorphins were once thought to be the main chemical to give people the feeling of that “natural” high. Now, researchers think another chemical from our brain might be responsible for more of that feeling (1).
“Until recently, researchers believed that endorphins were responsible for producing runner’s high. And while these opiate-like hormones certainly contribute to how good you feel after a run, they may not put you over the top and into runner’s high territory. That may be the work of endocannabinoids, lipid-based neurotransmitters that produce effects similar to cannabis. Or it could be an interplay between them and other chemicals released during exercise (1).”
Intense exercise creates chemicals in our brains that make our bodies feel euphoric. A runner’s high can make us feel light and energetic.
The surges I was experiencing did feel like a runner’s high, but they weren’t happening during or after exercise.
So, what were these experiences stemming from, and why are they coming back now that I’m in my 30s?
The Camping Trip
Late Summer 2024, I went on a cross-country camping trip with one of my best friends. The trip was life changing and enriched my love for the versatile landscapes of the United States.
The diversity of the open prairies, badlands, desert dunes, redwood trees, rock faces, canyons, mountain peaks and mighty rivers produced a powerful feeling of awe and wonder.
I learned a lot about myself and how minimally I could live for a month. With free time and a quieter mind, I reconnected with myself and nature. This freedom and opportunity to slow down helped me relax and find peace.
The Tree
It was a perfect morning to be hiking the Rim Rock Trail of the Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park in Colorado.
The Rim Rock Trail runs on top of a 53-mile range of cliffs that are well over 1,500 feet high. These completely vertical cliffs were created by the Gunnison River gutting the Earth’s rock for over two million years (2).
While the bottom of the cliff was a long way down, the trail was wide enough to keep the hike simple and relaxing. I walked for about 45 minutes and turned around to start my way back to camp.
About halfway back, I saw a scene worthy of a painting. At a right turn on the trail, the sun was rising behind the cliff in front of me. The cliff housed a juniper tree that almost defied science.
This scraggly tree was leaning over the edge of the cliff and growing out of solid rock.
Junipers trees grow slowly and live 350 to 700 years with some making it past the millennial mark. They are almost indestructible, thriving in freezing cold, brutal heat, roasting sun, minimal rainfall and strong winds. Junipers can survive conditions that would kill most trees (3).
The tree in front of me was no exception. Growing out of a tiny crack on the rocky cliff, this juniper tree symbolized an unshakable will to live.
As I sat beside the tree, I felt love and reverence. The tree was part of me, and we had known each other for lifetimes.
I could feel its strength, wisdom and love. It sounds crazy, but in a moment, I saw the interconnection between the tree, me and all living things.
This ancient connection between me and this gnarled juniper tree prompted the strongest surge of my life. I was washed in euphoria and did not feel like I was in my physical body.
I sat down and stayed with the tree for about 5 minutes and made my way back to camp.
Revelation
That same day, we packed up camp and left the Gunnison National Park. We were on the open road again with time to reflect and find our next adventure.
While riding East on the latter end of our trip, it finally hit me what these energy surges were being caused by.
I realized that one simple word was causing my body to feel this short-lived transcendence towards ecstasy . . . love.
Surges of Love
Love is the most powerful and innate human emotion. It’s a feeling we can all relate to. Love has the power to change the brain chemistry of everyone around.
It’s the one thing all humans are bound by. When we feel loved, we feel free to be our authentic selves.
The love I received as a child helped introduce the surges. It allowed me to see the world as a safe place with plenty of love to go around.
Flow
Growing up, I experienced a loving family and carefree childhood that revolved around playing sports. Whether it was in the backyard or on a baseball diamond, I loved to play and be active.
Most school-aged children are more carefree and less stressed than adults. This allows them to live in the moment and feel less self-conscious.
It’s amazing to watch kids in their free play. They easily get into a flow state, and their love of each moment is obvious.
As kids turn into adults, responsibilities and a packed schedule increase stress. Elevated stress leads to the overthinking that robs us of the present moment. This makes it tougher to find a flow state and see the love that is all around us.
What I Learned
The longer we were on the road the more I was able to relax and let go. Being immersed in nature, I felt more tuned in to my emotions. Feeling this much love again brought the energy surges back stronger than ever.
Like the thundering waterfalls of Yosemite, love was crashing into me.
Over the course of that month, there were times of adversity and stress, but compared to regular days at home, I was able to manage stress more effectively.
This is great news when we are on month-long road trip seeing the natural beauty of the U.S.A. But, how do we keep a similar mindset when we are working through the daily tasks of being an adult in the 21st century?
Application
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s more important than ever to effectively manage stress.
We are constantly thinking all day every day, and this turns our thoughts into the lens that we see life through. Our perspective is based on how we think.
How do we get rid of the negative thoughts and shine light on the ones that help us?
Witnessing some of the most beautiful natural sites that America has to offer helped me connect to Nature and see the bigger picture. It helped me cherish the moments and slow life down.
While admiring that majestic juniper tree, I was able to calm my mind and allow life’s energy to flow. Finding that parasympathetic state more often can help us keep stress at bay.
In the daily grind of working and taking care of children, it requires more focus to stay calm. Keeping our minds clear and our hearts open allow us to function optimally.
This state can help us be more creative and perform at our best.
Conclusion
This post might seem like it has nothing to do with baseball, but for me it has everything to do with sports and life.
While coaching our last tournament in the Fall of 2024, our 14U travel team was playing their best baseball to date. We were connecting as a team, and our on-field play represented our vast improvement throughout the season.
In the semi-final game, our starting pitcher was throwing well, and we were comfortably ahead late in the game. I looked around the dugout and sensed a familiar feeling.
The surge was quietly pulsing. Time slowed down, and I could hear our players talking and having fun.
Our team was excited to be together sharing their love of baseball. We were finally playing as a single unit with one common goal.
We went on to win the game and placed second in the tournament. The team chemistry we developed over the past ten months meant more to me than winning games. I was proud to be their coach, and the surge was the proof.
References
1. https://www.onepeloton.com/blog/runners-high/
2. https://www.nps.gov/blca/learn/nature/dimension.htm
4. Image: https://stock.adobe.com/search?k=%22rocky+mountain+juniper%22